Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize