You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize