Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
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