I don't think brook has ever known best
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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