yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize
