Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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