You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
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