Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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