Kareoke will never be a sober sport
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
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my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
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Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
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