Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
smell my finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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