I CAN MOONWALK!
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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