WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
