Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
its liver damage thursday
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
