Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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