I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
