I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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