arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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