In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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