C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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