Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Randomize
