i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
