I swear she didn't look like that last week.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Randomize
