I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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