plz talk dirty to me
She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
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