with your own penis?
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
