I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
