i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
