i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
