Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
