sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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