There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Randomize
