if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
this must be what syphilis tastes like
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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