So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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