You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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