You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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