love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
