HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
