I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
