Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
