saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
