Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
