She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
