I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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