Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
The dick lei will go down in squad history
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
