just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
