Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize