Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
