i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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