This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
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