More tranny stories later!
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
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his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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