You work out of a Hotel?
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
