did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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