How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I cannot find my penis.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
