yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
