I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
