I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Randomize
