Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
did you just send me my own nude
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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