Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
tell me about the eggs
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
