Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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