i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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