what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
He passed out mid-signature
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
